An old cowboy was riding his trusty horse followed by his faithful dog along an unfamiliar road.
The man was enjoying the new scenery, when he suddenly remembered dying, and realized that the dog beside him had been dead for years, as had his horse.
Confused, he wondered what was happening, and where the trail was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall that looked like fine marble.
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch topped by a golden letter "H" that glowed in the sunlight.
Standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like gold.
He rode toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
Parched and tired out by his journey, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"
"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in and I'll have some ice water brought right up."
As the gate began to open, the cowboy asked, “May I bring my partners too?"
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."
The cowboy thought for a moment, then turned back to the road and continued riding, his dog trotting by his side.
After another long ride, at the top of another hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a ranch gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside leaning against a tree and reading a book.
"Excuse me," he called to the man, “Do you have any water?"
"Sure, there's a pump right over there; help yourself."
"How about my friends here?” the traveler asked, gesturing to the dog and his horse.
"Of course! They look thirsty, too," said the man.
The trio went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with buckets beside it.
The traveler filled a cup and the buckets with wonderfully cool water and took a long drink, as did his horse and dog.
When they were full, he walked back to the man who was still standing by the tree.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered.
"That's confusing,” the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."
"Oh, you mean the place with the glitzy, gold street and fake pearly gates?
That's hell."
"Doesn't it make you angry when they use your name like that?"
"Not at all. Actually, we're happy they screen out the folks who would leave their friends behind."
Sometimes, we wonder why friends forward things to us without writing a word.
Maybe this explains it:
When you're busy, but still want to keep in touch, you can forward e-mails.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep in contact, you can forward jokes. When you have something to say, but don't know exactly how, you can forward stuff.
A 'forward' lets you know that you're still remembered, still important, still cared about.
So the next time you get a ‘forward,' don't think of it as just another joke.
Realize that you've been thought of today and that your friend on the other end just wanted to send you a smile.
PS: You're welcome at my watering hole anytime.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Old Cowboy, Heaven and Hell
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
This is why I forward jokes
This explains why I forward jokes.
A man and his dog were walking along a road.
The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.
He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them.
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble...
At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl,
and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.
He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out,
'Excuse me, where are we?'
'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered..
'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.
Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.
The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.
'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
'Excuse me!' he called to the man.
'Do you have any water?'
'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'
'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.
'There should be a bowl by the pump.'
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.
When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree..
'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.
'This is Heaven,' he answered.
'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.
'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'
'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates?
Nope. That's hell.'
'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'
'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'
Soooo...
Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.
Maybe this will explain.
When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do?
You forward jokes.
When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact,
you forward jokes.
When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how,
you forward jokes.
Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for,
guess what you get?
A forwarded joke.
So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today
and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.
You are all welcome at my water bowl anytime.
Posted by
Bill
at
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
1 comments
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Look at this one!! (Dancing Dog)
"This makes the show Dancing With the Stars look like amateurs."
This is the dancing dog video you have seen clips of on the Television. Watch the whole thing; the dog is totally cute and amazingly talented!
Title: Dancing Merengue Dog
Description:
Dancing Dog Doing The Merengue. Smartest dog ever!
Please note that this dog is from Chile, her name is Carrie, and the owner's name is Jose Fuentes.
I want to try and get Carrie and Jose on Dancing With The Stars. I think we should all email ABC to see if they will take them. Send them a note at either their FaceBook page or the ABC website!
Full disclaimer, I have no affiliation with Jose or Carrie. I just think it would be great to see them on DWTS. :)
Posted by
Bill
at
Thursday, October 14, 2010
1 comments
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Old Dog
One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The old German Shepherd thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'
Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!'
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.
The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says... 'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!
Moral of this story...
Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world.
Posted by
Bill
at
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
0
comments
Friday, April 30, 2010
Cocoa Shell Mulch - Dangerous to PETS!
I know you all are smart pet owners and probably already know this, but if you don’t, please DO NOT use cocoa shell mulch….
Share this with all the pet owners you know and ask them to do the same - the information you take a few minutes to share might prevent the senseless loss of other pets.
Please tell every dog or cat owner you know. Even if you don't have a pet, please pass this to those who do.
Over the weekend, the doting owner of two young lab mixes purchased Cocoa Mulch from Target to use in their garden. The dogs loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden. Their dog (Calypso) decided the mulch smelled good enough to eat and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical when she eats something new but wasn't acting lethargic in any way. The next day, Mom woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk . Half way through the walk, she had a seizure and died instantly.
Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label, upon further investigation on the company's web site,
this product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs and cats.
Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey's, and they claim that "It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won't eat it."
*Snopes site gives the following information: http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp *
Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman's Garden Supply and other Garden supply stores contains a lethal ingredient called 'Theobromine'. It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff and die. Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks.
Theobromine is in all chocolate, especially dark or baker's chocolate which is toxic to dogs. Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities of theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cacao bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of theobromine.
**PLEASE PASS THIS ON**
Posted by
Bill
at
Friday, April 30, 2010
0
comments
Labels: cat, cats, dangerous, dog, dogs, pets, poison, toxic
Monday, August 3, 2009
Just a Reminder: Free Food for Shelter Dogs and Cats
Free Food for Shelter Dogs and Cats
Animal Rescue Site
Hi, all you animal lovers. This is pretty simple.. Please tell ten friends
to tell ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough
people to click on it daily to meet their quota of getting free food
donated every day to abused and neglected animals.
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on the purple box
"Click Here to Give - it's FREE!" It is really free. This doesn't cost you a thing.
Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate
food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/
Also, click 'Hunger' tab at top and do the same thing to feed people!
There are also tabs for Breast Cancer, Child Health, Literacy and Rainforest.
AGAIN, PLEASE TELL 10 FRIENDS!!!
If you were wondering,
Snopes.com says this is legitimate!
http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/charity/animalrescue.asp
Posted by
Bill
at
Monday, August 03, 2009
0
comments
Labels: animal rescue, cancer, cat, charity, dog, feed, food, free, help, hunger, shelter
Saturday, March 21, 2009
To God, From the Dog
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell..
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'
READ THIS:
Finding the Perfect Dog
Posted by
Bill
at
Saturday, March 21, 2009
0
comments
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Inner Peace
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual with this, huh?!
Posted by
Bill
at
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
0
comments
Monday, November 24, 2008
HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING"
May your stuffing be tasty.
May your turkey be plump.
May your potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious.
May your pies take the prize.
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.
MAY YOU ALL HAVE A BLESSED THANKSGIVING!
Posted by
Bill
at
Monday, November 24, 2008
0
comments
Labels: cat, dog, indian, pilgrim, thanks, Thanksgiving, turkey
Friday, October 3, 2008
A Dog Named Faith
Some of you may have heard about Faith - a while back Faith was on the Oprah Show....
A dog named Faith
This is a story about a dog who was born on Christmas Eve in 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which needed to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him. He was rejected and scorned.
His first owner also did not think that he could survive. Therefore, he was thinking of putting him to sleep.. At this time, his present owner Jude String fellow came into his life and wanted to take care of him. She was determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. She thought, all we need is a little faith. Therefore she named him 'Faith.'
In the beginning, she put Faith on a surf board to let him feel the movements of the water. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and to reward him for standing up and jumping around. Even the other dogs at home helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, after only 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he can now walk like a human being.
Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him. He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared in various newspapers and TV shows. There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.
His present owner Jude Stringfellow has given up her teaching job and plans to take him around the world to preach, 'that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul.'
In life there are always undesirable things.
Perhaps a person who feels things are not going as well as they could will feel better if they change their point of view and see things from another perspective.
Perhaps this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone.
Perhaps everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows.
Life is the continual demonstration of the power of thinking positive and having faith.
Believe in yourself. Never lose faith.
Posted by
Bill
at
Friday, October 03, 2008
1 comments
Labels: dog, faith, hope, inspiration
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Even a Highway Cop would Laugh!
I GOT STOPPED FOR SPEEDING THE OTHER DAY.
I THOUGHT I COULD TALK MY WAY OUT OF IT UNTIL THE COP LOOKED AT MY DOG IN THE BACK SEAT.
One Sign You're Driving Too Fast........
This one is destined to become a classic, If this doesn't make you laugh or at least smile ... you need to think seriously about getting professional assistance.
Posted by
Bill
at
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
0
comments
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Singles Ad
This has to be one of the best "singles" ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work; wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-#### and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....
Please scroll down...
.
.
Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society about an 8-week-old black Labrador retriever!
If you like this email, you might want to check out these articles on LookingForClues:
Online Dating
Could You Find Your True Love Online?
Adopt a Dog
Finding the Perfect Dog
Visit LookingForClues.com for more helpful articles!
Posted by
Bill
at
Thursday, October 11, 2007
0
comments
