Monday, October 31, 2011

Keep the gray matter active


Keep the gray matter active

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet his birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in n ow?

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?








Here are the Answers

1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

Answer: Johnny, of course.

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest; it just wasn't discovered yet. [You're not very good at this, are you?]

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English Language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. What was the President's Name in 1975?

Answer: Same as is it now - Barack Obama [Oh, come on ....]

9. If you were running a race, and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd. Well, you passed the person in second place, not first.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow [Duh]

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

You can go back to sleep now ....

Friday, October 21, 2011

Chuckle

This is a quick and funny joke for you all, that I just got in my email inbox yesterday. Enjoy! If you like it, or any other email posted on this site, please share it with your friends on Twitter, FaceBook, Tumblr, etc. Thanks!

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One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio.

They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow

today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so

the snowplow can get through." The wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio

announcer said, "We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will

need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the

snowplow can get through." So the wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio

announcer said, "We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must

park..." Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried

look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of

the street am I supposed to park on?"

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to

blondes exhibit, her husband said,

"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time."

Friday, October 7, 2011

A cat and dolphins, the LONG version

Been around before but worth a second look.

This is a video of a house cat on a boat, and a few dolphins in the water interacting.

The dolphin pets the cat with its snout. The cat kisses the dolphin and touches the side of its snout with its paw. Very cute animal video for cat lovers and dolphin lovers too!



YouTubeStars!
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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Lion and the Bear

Watch the bear

YOU HAVE GOT TO TAKE A MINUTE AND WATCH THIS VIDEO. THERE IS NOT A WORD SPOKEN, BUT IT WILL SURE HOLD YOUR ATTENTION.

How on earth did they film this one ?



YouTubeStars!
Looking for cool YouTube videos? Visit YouTubeStars and discover talented musicians, funny skitmakers, interesting vloggers and more! Please check out YouTubeStars - A guide to the most popular and most entertaining YouTube members and their videos. Online for over 5 years!

Funny Lawyer Joke

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.

As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him
About, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you
Been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.

While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.

Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go up stairs and give him the good news.

As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her Husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN, DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!'

Label Genetically Engineered Food

Last week the Center for Food Safety filed a formal legal petition with FDA demanding that the agency require the labeling of genetically engineered foods. The petition was the result of many months of legal work and raises several arguments showing why FDA must change its current policy and require labeling. Now, we are spearheading a drive with over 350 other organizations and businesses in the Just Label It! Campaign, to direct one million comments to the FDA in support of our petition.

Unsuspecting consumers by the tens of millions are being allowed to purchase and consume unlabeled genetically engineered foods, despite the fact that FDA undertakes no testing of its own, instead relying only on a voluntary consultation with industry and confidential industry data to assure safety. Internal FDA documents discovered in prior CFS litigation actually indicated the foods could pose serious risks, but those views were overruled.

Currently, up to 85 percent of U.S. corn is genetically engineered, as are 91 percent of soybeans and 88 percent of cotton (cottonseed oil is often used in food products). According to industry, up to 95% of sugar beets are now GE, although the decision to commercialize GE sugar is currently under legal challenge by CFS. It has been estimated that upwards of 70 percent of processed foods on supermarket shelves–from soda to soup, crackers to condiments–contain genetically engineered ingredients.

Genetically engineered foods are required to be labeled in the 15 European Union nations, Russia, Japan, China, Australia, New Zealand, and many other countries around the world. The United States is one of the only countries in the world that doesn’t require labeling of GE food!

In America, we pride ourselves on having choices and making informed decisions. Under current FDA regulations, we don't have that choice when it comes to GE ingredients in the foods we purchase and feed our families. In fact, a recent poll released by ABC News found that 93 percent of the American public wants the federal government to require mandatory labeling of genetically engineered foods. As ABC News stated, “Such near-unanimity in public opinion is rare.”

Americans have been asking Congress to pass a labeling law for more than 10 years, to no avail. It’s time to take the fight back to FDA—bigger and louder than ever before.

Please send your comment to FDA in support of CFS’s petition and to President Obama in support of mandatory labeling of genetically engineered foods!


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LINK: What is Genetically Engineered Food? Also Known as Genetically Modified Food or GMO.