Monday, July 14, 2014

SEX at 73

I just took a
leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can
have sex at 73.
I'm so happy, because I live at
number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home
it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have
to cross the road!
Answering machine
"I am not available right now,
thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making
some changes in my life.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
If I do not return your
you are one of the
My wife and I had
words, but I didn't get to use
Frustration is trying to
find your glasses without your
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without
irony of life is that,
by the time you're old
enough to know your way around,
you're not going
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
I was
always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps
getting harder to find one.
morning is the dawn of a new
The quote of the month is
by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out
of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe
tearing up the country from one end
to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and
terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time
to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Aspire to inspire before
you expire.
those that prefer to think that
God is not watching
over us....
go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...
pass this on!

Monday, April 7, 2014

The Resurrection, Too Good Not To Pass On!

Here is a quick funny joke that I recently found in my Email Inbox. It may offend some because it plays on a very important religious precept. If you know that you become offended at this kind of humor, please check out another post here, or visit another site. Thanks!


While the priest was presenting a children's sermon,
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said,

"I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Are You a True Christian?


The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. So naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Miracle Diet! Drink Beer! Yes, it's a Joke.

This video is over 6 years old, but it is making the rounds via email these days.

Eating Disorders are serious business, but this video pokes fun at fad diets as well as drinking too much.

Is it funny or did they go too far? You decide. Share it with your friends and see what they think of this.

Lose weight with this amazing new diet plan!

("What's my secret? I drink beer!")

Almost 2 Million Views!