Thursday, January 31, 2008

Good Clean Joke....

Religion Articles at LFCHere is a Christian/Computer related joke I recently received in my email. If you are looking for some serious religious reading, please browse our Religious Articles at; thanks!


A little Christian humor

( This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in awhile!)

Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was better on
the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired
of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have
had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and
from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then,
ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the
sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan
stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the
underworld. Jesus just sighed.

Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:
"It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past
two hours of work.

Satan observed this and became irate.
"Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated!
How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"
God just shrugged and said,



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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

An Officer's Life

You wonder why he pulled you over and gave you a ticket for speeding.

He just worked an accident where poeple died because they were going too fast.

You wonder why that cop was so mean.

He just got done working a case where a drunk driver killed a kid.

You work for 8 hours.

He works for up to 18 hours.

You drink hot coffee to stay awake.

The cold rain in the middle of the night keeps him awake.

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.

He goes into work still hurt and sore from the guy he had to fight the night before.

You drink your coffee on your way to the mall.

He spills his as he runs code to a traffic crash with kids trapped inside.

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket before you leave the house.

He makes sure his guns is clean and fully loaded and his vest is tight.

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He watches his buddy get shot at, and wounded in front of him.

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.

He walks down the highway looking for body parts from a traffic crash.

You complain about how hot it is.

He wears fifty pounds of gear and a bullet proof vest in the middle of July and still runs around chasing crack heads.

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.

He runs out before he gets his food to respond to an armed robbery.

You get out of bed in the morning and take your time getting ready.

He gets called out of bed at 2 am after working 12 hours and has to be into work asap for a traffic homicide.

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.

He holds the hair of some college girl while she's puking in the back of his patrol car.

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.

His shift ended 4 hours ago and there's no end in sight.

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.

He can't make any plans because on his off days he still gets called back into work.

You yell and scream at the squad car that just passed you because they slowed you down.

He's in the driver seat of the squad car, going to cut somebody out of their car only to find out that they're dead when he gets there.

You roll your eyes when a baby cries in public.

He picks up a dead child in his arms and prays that it was crying.

You criticize your police dept and say they're never there quick enough.

He blasts the siren while the person in front of him refuses to move while talking on their cell phone and doing their makeup.

You hear the jokes about fallen officers and say they should have known better.

He is a hero and runs into situations when everyone else is running away in order to make sure no one else gets hurt, and loses his life doing it.

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.

He would take a bullet for his buddy without question.

You sit there and judge him, saying that its a waste of money to have them around.

Yet as soon as you need help, he is there.

If you support your local police officers, repost this with a "An Officer's life"

If you don't support your police officers, well, then don't repost, it's not like you care any way...

Also, a shout out to the men and women of the Fire Departments , EMS and Dispatchers as well, without all these divisions, public safety wouldn't be available!!!!

Thank you to everyone involved, and may each and every day, everyone in their career come home safely!