Monday, July 14, 2014

SEX at 73

SEX AT 73
I just took a
leaflet out of my mailbox,
informing me that I can
have sex at 73.
I'm so happy, because I live at
number 71.
So it's not too far to walk home
afterwards.
And
it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have
to cross the road!
~~~~~
Answering machine
message,
"I am not available right now,
but
thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making
some changes in my life.
Please leave a message
after the beep.
If I do not return your
call,
you are one of the
changes."
~~~~~
My wife and I had
words, but I didn't get to use
mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to
find your glasses without your
glasses.
~~~~
Blessed are those who can
give without remembering
and take without
forgetting.
~~~~~
The
irony of life is that,
by the time you're old
enough to know your way around,
you're not going
anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before
woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer
for her first question.
~~~~~
I was
always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps
getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every
morning is the dawn of a new
error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is
by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out
of control,
mud slides, flooding, severe
thunderstorms
tearing up the country from one end
to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and
terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time
to take
God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before
you expire.
~~~~~
For
those that prefer to think that
God is not watching
over us....
go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...
pass this on!