The Resurrection, Too Good Not To Pass On!

Here is a quick funny joke that I recently found in my Email Inbox. It may offend some because it plays on a very important religious precept. If you know that you become offended at this kind of humor, please check out another post here, or visit another site. Thanks!

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While the priest was presenting a children's sermon,
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said,

"I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Are You a True Christian?

OH, HOW IMPORTANT TO WALK THE WALK & NOT JUST TALK THE TALK !!!!!!!

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. So naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

The Lord's Ballgame

Here is a religious email that has been circulating. After the cute Baseball analogy, it proffers:

The Lord explained, 'If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home:

'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast.' Ephesians 2:8-9

Psalm 84:11, 'For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.'

This seems to play both sides of the long existing debate between predestination and free will. This point is a major difference between Protestant denominations. Calvanists and others believe in predestination and support their belief with verses such as Romans 9 and the Ephesians verse in this email. Most other denominations believe in free will and offer verses such as the famous John 3:16 as proof.

Predestination says God decided before anyone was born who will be saved and go to heaven, and who will be damned and go to hell. Free will states that we have the choice to choose to believe in Jesus (faith) and go to heaven, or not.

What does this email say? First it says you won't get to heaven by faith, only by God's grace. Then it says that if you walk upright, which takes work, God will not withhold any good thing from you, and surely heaven is the greatest good thing!

Which is it? Can we get to heaven by walking upright (living a good life) or can we only get there if God has already decided that He is going to bestow grace on us regardless of how much love, wisdom or faith we have?



The email concludes with:

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'
Phil 4:13

"ALL" things?

He said to them, “Because of your little faith. For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”
—Matthew 17:20


Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
—Matthew 18:18-19

And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen.
—Matthew 21:21

Anyone seen mountains move around lately? Anyone prayed earnestly with a group and discovered your request left undone?

Read more in this article:
Should we take the Bible literally?

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THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME

Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team.

The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named 'Love.'

Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because 'Love never fails.'

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.

The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.

Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws.

The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now going to bring in His starplayer. Up to the plate stepped Grace. Freddy said, 'He sure doesn't look like much!'

Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace.

Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen! But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by.

He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground; the roaring crowds went wild as the ball
continued over the fence . . for a home run!

The Lord's team won!

The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.

The Lord explained, 'If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home:

'For by Grace are you saved, it is a gift of God; not of works, lest any man should boast.' Ephesians 2:8-9

Psalm 84:11, 'For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.'

I do Love God. He is my source of existence and Savior. He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I am nothing, but with him:

'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'
Phil 4:13

If you think our country is not in trouble, think again...

Here's an email that's going around lately. It seems to be a mix of fact and fiction. Research, then decide for yourself!

Obama didn't declared that the USA was no longer a Christian nation - he said that the USA was no longer JUST a Christian nation.

Obama didn't cancel the National Day of Prayer Ceremony - he recognized the National Day of Prayer with a paper proclamation instead of a public event at the White House.

There was a Muslin rally in D.C. bit it wasn't a replacement for the National Day of Prayer.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/05/06/obamas-decision-observe-national-day-prayer-privately-draws-public-criticism/

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/religion/a/islam_on_capitol_hill.htm

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/prayerday.asp

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In
1952
President Truman
Established one day a year as a "National Day of Prayer."
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In
1988 President Reagan
designated the First Thursday in May of each year as
the National Day of Prayer.
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In June
2007 (then)
Presidential Candidate Barack Obama
declared that the USA Was no longer a Christian nation.

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This year President Obama
canceled the 21st annual National Day
of Prayer ceremony
at the White House under the ruse Of "not wanting to offend anyone"

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On September 25, 2009
from 4 am until 7 pm,
a National Day of Prayer
for the Muslim religion was Held on Capitol Hill, Beside the White House.
There were over 50,000 Muslims that Day in D.C.
HE PRAYS WITH THE MUSLIMS!

I guess it Doesn't matter
if "Christians" Are offended by this event - We obviously Don't count as
"anyone" Anymore. The direction this country is headed should strike fear in the heart of every Christian, especially knowing that the Muslim religion believes that if Christians cannot be converted, they should be annihilated. This is not a Rumor?
Go to the website To confirm this info:
http://www.islamoncapitolhill.com/

Pay particular attention to the very bottom of the page: "OUR TIME HAS COME" I hope that this information will stir your spirit.
The words of 2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, Who are called by my Name, Will humble themselves And pray, And seek my face, and Turn from their Wicked ways, Then will I hear from Heaven And will forgive their Sin and will heal Their land." We must pray for Our nation, our communities, Our families, and especially our children. They are the ones who are going to suffer the most.. If we don't PRAY May God have Mercy.
IN GOD WE TRUST. Please pass this on.

Maybe someone, somehow can figure out a way to put America
back on the map as it was when we were growing up,
a safe place to live, and by The Ten Commandments and Pledge of Allegiance.
For Obama to continue as our president
is an INSULT TO OUR FOUNDING FATHERS
AND DISGUSTING TO EVERY RED-BLOODED AMERICAN.

Pastor Removal

This one has been going around for years! When I got it recently, it had nearly 1000 signatures in its body. I did not sign it, after reading the related Snopes article. It's just another Urban Legend!

... the [FCC] is enjoined by the First Amendment to observe a stance of neutrality toward religion, acting neither to promote nor inhibit religion.

The FCC has no authority to ban religious programming. It literally is a myth.

Despite ... claims that Dr. Dobson is soliciting Christians to sign a petition to counter RM-2493, he has denied any involvement with this.

Read the Snopes article, it's interesting!

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Pastor Removal from Television

Removal of Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Charles Stanley, David Jeremiah and other pastors from the airwaves.

An organization has been granted a Federal Hearing on the same subject by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in Washington, D.C. Their petition, Number 2493, would ultimately pave the way to stop the reading of the gospel of our Lord and Savior, on the airwaves of America. They got 287,000 signatures to back their stand!

If this attempt is successful, all Sunday worship services being broadcast on the radio or by television will be stopped. This group is also campaigning to remove all Christmas programs and Christmas carols from public schools! You as a Christian can help!

We are praying for at least 1 million signatures. This would defeat their effort and show that there are many Christians alive, well and concerned about our country. As Christians, we must unite on this.

Please don't take this lightly. We ignored one lady once and lost prayer in our schools and in offices across the nation. Please stand up for your religious freedom and Met your voice be heard. Together we can make a difference in our country while creating an opportunity for the lost to know the Lord.

Please, if you don't wish to participate, return this email to whoever sent it to you so they can at least keep this email going or forward it to someone you know who will wish to participate..

Dr. Dobson is going on CNBC to urge every Christian to get involved. I hope you will sign and forward to all your family and friends. Please press forward, CLEAN UP THE MESSAGE, and forward this to everyone you think should read this.

Now, please sign your name at the bottom (you can only add your name after you have pressed 'Forward' or you have copied and pasted the text).. Don't delete any other names, just go to the next number and type your name. Please do not sign jointly, such as Mr. & Mrs., each person should sign his/her own name. Please defeat this organization and keep the light of our freedom of religion.

When you get to 1000 please e-mail back to: ............