My Resume

My Resume

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.I couldn't concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but I just couldn't hackit, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried to be a Tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it -mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was tooexhausting.

5. Then, I tried to be a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to mylife, but I just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted to be a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it Icouldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually I found I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, bu t I didn't have anypatience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried but I just didn't fit in.

10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't liveon my net income.

11. I managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,but the work was just too draining.

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center but they said I wasn't fit forthe job.

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job asa Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but I had to quit because it wasalways the same old grind.

15. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

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