Thursday, March 24, 2011

Growing Up Without a Cell Phone

Growing Up Without a Cell Phone Hysterical,but true.

If you are 40 or older, you might think this is
hilarious if not you may not understand any of it!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with
their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When
they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five
miles to school every morning....Uphill...
Barefoot...BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of
crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and
how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of forty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth of
today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my
childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say
it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've
got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet.
If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the
damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk
all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox,
and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were
10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents
beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my
friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you
wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the
record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the
radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning
and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had
tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and
"eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come
undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we
rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you
were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a
busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you
left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or
receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with
your "friends". OH MY **GOSH**!!! Think of the
horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And
then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids
have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the
phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be
your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your
drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't
know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances,

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video
games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the
Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and
'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were
no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen..
Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept
getting harder and harder and faster and faster until
you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to
find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to
channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk
over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!!
Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm
saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you
spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat
something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play...
all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and
comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw your ass in the
back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got
the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if
she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the
dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot
gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids
today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You
guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in
1970 or any time before!

The Over 40 Crowd
(Send this to someone you'd like to make smile)

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