Friday, November 6, 2009

Things To Ponder

If you have sex with a prostitute against her
will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be
before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents
in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny
going to?

Why does a round pizza come in a square

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon
before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a
baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is
it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you

They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns
the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is
there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in
the carpool lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island
can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto
remains on all fours?

They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all
that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and
vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons,
does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little
Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two
songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside
the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the

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