SEX at 73

SEX AT 73

I just took a

leaflet out of my mailbox,

informing me that I can

have sex at 73.

I'm so happy, because I live at

number 71.

So it's not too far to walk home

afterwards.

And

it's the same side of the street.

I don't even have

to cross the road!

~~~~~

Answering machine

message,

"I am not available right now,

but

thank you for caring enough to call.

I am making

some changes in my life.

Please leave a message

after the beep.

If I do not return your

call,

you are one of the

changes."

~~~~~

My wife and I had

words, but I didn't get to use

mine.

~~~~~

Frustration is trying to

find your glasses without your

glasses.

~~~~
Blessed are those who can

give without remembering

and take without

forgetting.

~~~~~
The

irony of life is that,

by the time you're old

enough to know your way around,

you're not going

anywhere.

~~~~~

God made man before

woman so as to give him time

to think of an answer

for her first question.

~~~~~

I was

always taught to respect my elders,

but it keeps

getting harder to find one.

~~~~~

Every

morning is the dawn of a new

error.

~~~~~

The quote of the month is

by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out

of control,

mud slides, flooding, severe

thunderstorms

tearing up the country from one end

to another,

and with the threat of bird flu and

terrorist attacks,

are we sure this is a good time

to take

God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

~~~~~

Aspire to inspire before

you expire.

~~~~~

For

those that prefer to think that

God is not watching

over us....

go ahead and delete this.

For the rest of us...

pass this on!

The Resurrection, Too Good Not To Pass On!

Here is a quick funny joke that I recently found in my Email Inbox. It may offend some because it plays on a very important religious precept. If you know that you become offended at this kind of humor, please check out another post here, or visit another site. Thanks!

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While the priest was presenting a children's sermon,
He asked the children if they knew what the Resurrection was.

Now, asking questions during children's sermons is crucial, but at the same time, asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous. In response to the question, a little boy raised his hand.

The priest called on him and the boy said,

"I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor."

It took ten minutes for the congregation to settle down enough for the service to continue.

Are You a True Christian?

OH, HOW IMPORTANT TO WALK THE WALK & NOT JUST TALK THE TALK !!!!!!!

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. So naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car."

Miracle Diet! Drink Beer! Yes, it's a Joke.

This video is over 6 years old, but it is making the rounds via email these days.

Eating Disorders are serious business, but this video pokes fun at fad diets as well as drinking too much.

Is it funny or did they go too far? You decide. Share it with your friends and see what they think of this.

Lose weight with this amazing new diet plan!

("What's my secret? I drink beer!")

Almost 2 Million Views!