Give Thanks, Soon to be Gone

As we celebrate and give Thanks let us be sure that we remember those who made our standard of living possible and, where possible, let's work to give them the honor and compassion that they so richly deserve.

SOON TO BE GONE By Capt. Steven Ellison, MD A MILITARY DOCTOR

This should be required reading in every school and college in our country. This Captain, an Army doctor, deserves a medal himself for putting this together. If you choose not to pass it on, fine, but I think you will want to, after you read it.  

I am a doctor specializing in the Emergency Departments of the only two military Level One-Trauma Centers, both in San Antonio , TX and they care for civilian Emergencies as well as military personnel. San Antonio has the largest military retiree population in the world living here. As a military doctor, I work long hours and the pay is less than glamorous. One tends to become jaded by the long hours, lack of sleep, food, family contact and the endless parade of human suffering passing before you. The arrival of another ambulance does not mean more pay, only more work. Most often, it is a victim from a motor vehicle crash.

Often it is a person of dubious character who has been shot or stabbed. With our large military retiree population, it is often a nursing home patient. Even with my enlisted service and minimal combat experience in Panama , I have caught myself groaning when the ambulance brought in yet another sick, elderly person from one of the local retirement centers that cater to military retirees. I had not stopped to think of what citizens of this age group represented. 

I saw 'Saving Private Ryan.' I was touched deeply. Not so much by the carnage, but by the sacrifices of so many. I was touched most by the scene of the elderly survivor at the graveside, asking his wife if he'd been a good man. I realized that I had seen these same men and women coming through my Emergency Dept... and had not realized what magnificent sacrifices they had made. The things they did for me and everyone else that has lived on this planet since the end of that conflict are priceless. 

Situation permitting, I now try to ask my patients about their experiences. They would never bring up the subject without the inquiry. I have been privileged to an amazing array of experiences, recounted in the brief minutes allowed in an Emergency Dept encounter. These experiences have revealed the incredible individuals I have had the honor of serving in a medical capacity, many on their last admission to the hospital. 

There was a frail, elderly woman who reassured my young enlisted medic, trying to start an IV line in her arm. She remained calm and poised, despite her illness and the multiple needle-sticks into her fragile veins. She was what we call a 'hard stick.' As the medic made another attempt, I noticed a number tattooed across her forearm. I touched it with one finger and looked into her eyes. She simply said, ' Auschwitz ...' Many of later generations would have loudly and openly berated the young medic in his many attempts. How different was the response from this person who'd seen unspeakable suffering. 

Also, there was this long retired Colonel, who as a young officer had parachuted from his burning plane over a Pacific Island held by the Japanese. Now an octogenarian, he had a minor cut on his head from a fall at his home where he lived alone. His CT scan and suturing had been delayed until after midnight by the usual parade of high priority ambulance patients. Still spry for his age, he asked to use the phone to call a taxi, to take him home, and then he realized his ambulance had brought him without his wallet. He asked if he could use the phone to make a long distance call to his daughter who lived 7 miles away. With great pride we told him that he could not, as he'd done enough for his country and the least we could do was get him a taxi home, even if we had to pay for it ourselves. My only regret was that my shift wouldn't end for several hours, and I couldn't drive him myself.
I was there the night M/Sgt Roy Benavidez came through the Emergency Dept. for the last time. He was very sick. I was not the doctor taking care of him, but I walked to his bedside and took his hand. I said nothing. He was so sick; he didn't know I was there. I'd read his Congressional Medal of Honor citation and wanted to shake his hand. He died a few days later.

The gentleman who served with Merrill's Marauders, the survivor of the Bataan Death March, the survivor of Omaha Beach, The 101 year old World War I veteran, The former POW held in frozen North Korea, The former Special Forces medic - now with non-operable liver cancer, The former Viet Nam Corps Commander.. I may still groan when yet another ambulance comes in, but now I am much more aware of what an honor it is to serve these particular men and women. I have seen a Congress who would turn their back on these individuals who've sacrificed so much to protect our liberty. I see later generations that seem to be totally engrossed in abusing these same liberties, won with such sacrifice. It has become my personal endeavor to make the nurses and young enlisted medics aware of these amazing individuals when I encounter them in our Emergency Dept. Their response to these particular citizens has made me think that perhaps all is not lost in the next generation. My experiences have solidified my belief that we are losing an incredible generation, and this nation knows not what it is losing. We should all remember that we must 'Earn this.'

Written By CAPT. Stephen R. Ellison, M.D. US Army My own personal note: If it were not for these faithful, loyal, strong persons, there would not be a United States of America . I ask that you pray for these aging and dying service members. I also think every American citizen should read this. So, if you agree, send it on.

Support the Troops, Share This

Brain Study.... Interesting!

EVERYONE THAT KNOWS ME KNOWS I AM STRANGE-MINDED. 

 

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this OUT LOUD you have a strong mind.

 

And better than that: Alzheimer's is a long, long, way down the road before it ever gets anywhere near you.

 

To my "selected" strange-minded friends:

 

If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends. Only great minds can read this. This is weird, but interesting!

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If you can raed this, you have a s trange mnid, too. O nl y 55 pe o p l e out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseaethe huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT

USMC Best Joke of the Year

This is a very political time in history, and this joke has political overtones.  I am not posting it because I support or don't support the underlying political commentary.  I am posting it because I find it to be amusing!  I like these kind of jokes.  They set you up; you're expecting a certain kind of outcome, but then they get you with a surprise ending.

If you think it's funny, pass it on!  If you like the political message, pass it on!  If you hate it, pass it on and tell your friends why its so bad!

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

A Marine squad was marching north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, the squad leader asked the injured Marine what had happened.

The Marine reported, I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway here, and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. We saw each other and both took cover in the ditches along the road. I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable, lowlife scum bag who got what he deserved. and he yelled back that Barack Obama is a lying, good-for-nothing, left wing Commie who isn't even an American. So I said that Osama Bin Laden dressed and acts like a frigid, mean-spirited lesbian! He retaliated by yelling, Oh yeah? Well, so does Nancy Pelosi!.

And, there we were, in the middle of the road, shaking hands, when a truck hit us.

The Farm Class Trip

Here's a funny cartoon that came in my email today.  I obscured the one bad word a little just so I'm not responsible for teaching any little kids the F word!

LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE CLASS TRIP !!

 

Just when you think you've heard every animal story, this one comes

This is such fun to watch...another amazing animal story.

This 10-year-old King Penguin was rescued from a fisherman's line and refused to leave after he was healed. He was adopted by a family in a small town in Japan and became a beloved pet who has his own personal air-conditioned cold room. Lala is so smart - he walks to the fish store with his little backpack to shop for fresh fish every day.

Free Sex

A gas station owner in North Carolina was trying to increase his sales, So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with Fill-Up."

Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly he would get his free sex.

The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."

A week later, the same redneck, along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number.

The redneck guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time."

As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I think that game is rigged, and he doesn't really give away free sex."

Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It ain't rigged. My wife won twice last week."

Heaven and Hell

While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator (that may be redundant) was tragically hit by a car and died.

His soul arrives in heaven and is greeted by Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St.. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the Senator.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the Senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.

In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes.

They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, "Now it's time to visit heaven...”

So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity."

The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell...

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders.

"I don't understand," stammers the Senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The devil smiles at him and says,
"Yesterday we were campaigning,
Today, you voted.."

Vote wisely in November.

Why Teachers Drink - FUNNY!

Why teachers drink....

The following questions were set in last year's GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons  A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink  A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed  A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans  A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on  A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections  A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q.. What happens to your body as you age  A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty  A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes  A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination  A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow Q. How can you delay milk turning sour  A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)  A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.. (wtf!) Q. What is the fibula?  A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean?  A. Nearby Q. What is the most common form of birth control   A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'  A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure?  A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?  A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

God Loves Drunk People Too!

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.

The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, it is 3:00 in the morning!"

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.

"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too."

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" asks the husband.

"Over here - on the swing set," replied the drunk. 

With Age Comes Wisdom

A guy is 75 years old and loves to fish. His name is Bill.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,  'Pick me up.'

He looked around and couldn't see anyone.

He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.'

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you.' Pick me up, then kiss me;  and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.  I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'


With age comes wisdom.

Grandma still drives!

Clueless Grandma still drives!  FUNNY!  
 

Grandma is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car.
She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,
The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
'Honk if you love Jesus' bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from
a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer
meeting..

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
light had changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't
honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of
God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
stuck up in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.

He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window
and gave him the good luck sign right back.

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
when I noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on
through the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection
before the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave
them after all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord
for such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

Husband Down Isle 5

Husband is Down in Isle 5 - FUNNY!  See why his wife knocked him out!  READ ON!




A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

 "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.

 "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."

He never knew what hit him.

Italian Pregnancy

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit.

The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, 'Who wasa the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house.

A mature and distinguished man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of a Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them:

'Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem'.

'I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach-front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account..

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each..

However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?'

At this point, the father, who had remained silent holding a shotgun, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder, looks him directly in the eyes and tells him

"You a gonna try again!" 

Being Green

You will love this e-mail and the font is bigger for our older
generation:

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the
older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because
plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this GREEN thing back in my earlier days."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation
did not care enough to save our environment for future
generations."

The woman said, "You are right -- our generation didn't have
that GREEN thing in its day.

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer
bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to
be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same
bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we
didn't have that GREEN thing back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that
were used for numerous things; most memorable besides household
garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers
for our school books. This was to ensure that public property,
(the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced
by our scribbling. Then we were able to personalize our books.
But too bad we didn't do that GREEN thing back then.

We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in
every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store
and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we
had to go two blocks. But you are right. We didn't have that
GREEN thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have
the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an
energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar
power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids
got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not
always brand-new clothing. But, young lady you are right; we
didn't have that GREEN thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in
every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a
handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the
state of Montana . In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by
hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything
for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we
used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or
plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and
burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mowerthat
ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need
to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on
electricity. But you're right; we didn't have that GREEN thing
back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using
a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen,
and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing
away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we
didn't have that GREEN thing back then.
 
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode
their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms
into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a
room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen
appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive
a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in
order to find the nearest burger joint.

But it's sad how your current generation laments how wasteful
we old folks were just because we didn't have that GREEN thing
back then."

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs
a lesson in conservation from smart Alec young people.

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take
much to tick us off.

Find Sex in this picture!

Japanese Eye Test

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!!

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the Corner of your eyes as if you were Japanese. Keep Pulling until your eyes are almost closed...It works. 

Too FUNNY not to pass on! 

Why did I Vote for a Democrat?

2012 is going to be a very political year! President Obama will be up for re-election against an as yet unchosen Republican candidate. Many already know which party they will be voting for. It seems to me that most people have pretty strong views on politics and identify themselves as conservative or liberal. I am independant; I vote based on the candidate and what they say they stand for, as well as their record. But I am willing to listen to anyone who wants to talk about politics, as long as they are respectful and willing to converse rather than just preach.

So here is a political email that came my way last week. I think some of these points are more valid than others. If you have an opinion, that's what the comment box is for!

----------------------------------------------------------

When your friends cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, ask them to choose from this list.

1. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4 % on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.


2. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.


3. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.


4. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.


5. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.


7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.


8. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to
make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away
to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.


9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.


10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.


11. I voted Democrat because, while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE".

The Delivery

The delivery

A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's Father.

He asked if they were interested.
Both said they were very much in favor of it.

The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced Before.

But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine.

The doctor then checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing.

At this point they decided to try for 50%.

The husband continued to feel quite well.

Since the pain transfer was obviously helping the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain and the husband had experienced none. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home they found the mailman dead on the porch.

Tyrone's Hearing

I've always been told to be specific when praying. I've also had a feeling that God knows what we mean even if we don't get as specific as we could. But obviously we really do have to get specific when we ask for prayer from others.







Preacher Rod said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed

and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Tyrone, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.







After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked,

"Tyrone, how is your hearing now?"

Tyrone answered, "I don't know, Man. It ain't 'til next week."